


Aberration

by greekfreak2



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! GX
Genre: Gen, M/M, Weight Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 05:22:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8000134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greekfreak2/pseuds/greekfreak2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was fine. This shouldn't bother him. He should not be at that place where it bothered him. It used to bother him, back when he had been weaker but he was stronger now and he was over this STUPID THING that he had had.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aberration

**Author's Note:**

> So seeing Manjoume's deathly skinny body in Gx (we all know the episode) inspired this fic. 
> 
> I've struggled with this (in a different way) so I've really tried to do it justice and at the same time keep Manjoume in character. 
> 
> Rated T for some language.

"Shit"

The whisper echoed in the small bathroom as Manjoume looked at his naked torso in the mirror. Turning sideways, he grimaced at his own reflection, pinching his sides and feeling the skin roll under his fingers. He'd been so good for months, not obsessing over the food he put into his mouth nor caring when he'd ordered pasta on date night. It had been a relief, a far cry from who he used to be. But he'd become way to careless and now....

"Shit"

He heard Judai snore loudly from the other room, turning in his sleep. The snoring stuttered and he heard the rustling of the sheets as the tell-tale sign that his boyfriend was waking up. 

"Jun?"

Manjoume winced as he let go of his skin, closing his eyes to regain his composure. 

This was stupid. He was past this. 

"Go back to sleep, dummy, I just needed the bathroom"

Manjoume walked out of the bathroom, climbing back into bed and feeling Judai's warm arms reach around him. 

He closed his eyes and tried not to cringe as they touched his waist. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He was hungry. 

It had been a draining day, his latest opponent in the pro leagues putting up more of a fight than usual. He'd won, of course. He hadn't lost a duel in almost a year. And it had been his stupid boyfriend who had broken the streak before then. But he couldn't be too angry. The apology sex had been amazing. 

Manjoume lifted the towel up to his head, wiping off the sweat that was clinging to his forehead before throwing it into the basket in the corner of his change room. One of the better perks of being a pro meant that he had a room all to himself to take a break in after duels. Which he deserved, obviously. 

"I brought pizza!"

Speak of the devil, right on cue. 

Manjoume looked up at the sound of his boyfriend's voice. It was one of those things that he never could understand. Judai had never missed a single one of his duels, despite the fact that they lived together and Manjoume would tell him all about it anyway. Every duel, without fail, Judai would prance into his change room in that ridiculous way he always did, and congratulate him on his win. It was completely stupid, and yet completely like him. 

He smirked. Well, the two always did go hand in hand. 

"Congrats, Thunder!"

Judai bounded over to him and pecked his cheek, grinning as he pulled back and placed the pizza on Manjoume's vanity. 

"I brought congratulatory food!"

He watched as Judai pulled a slice for him, hazardously throwing it onto a napkin (Manjoume rolled his eyes; like Judai thought he was incapable of doing it himself) and handing it to him. 

Manjoume looked at the pizza. It looked disgusting and greasy and delicious and he wanted it. But...he remembered his softening waistline and how good he'd been resisting temptation so far. 

Taking a second to breathe (it smelled so good), he shoved the napkin back at Judai. 

"Not hungry, drop out. Maybe later"

Judai pouted. "You sure?" 

Manjoume rolled his eyes "Yes, I'm sure. Now take it before I dump it on your head"

"Well, if you insist!"

He watched with envy as Judai shoved the slice into his mouth. He had no idea how lucky he was. But it was fine. This was only going to last a few more days until he got himself back on track. Then he could go back to not caring about what he put into his mouth. 

Ignoring the nagging voice in his head counting the weeks since this had started, Manjoume picked up his towel to finish wiping his face. 

It was only a few more days.  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Manjoume lay on the couch, the fan blowing cool air onto his overheated face. It was so stupidly hot and he was just not in the mood for moving or even breathing. His stomach grumbled underneath him. 

_'You don't look so good' ___

Manjoume's brow furrowed in annoyance as Ojama Yellow floated in front of him. The small spirit batted at his drooping hair, his eyes wide with concern. 

_'You look tired. Why haven't you been sleeping?' ___

"Shut it"

_'You should sleep, or eat something. When was the last time you ate something?' ___

"You should shut it"

_'Manjoume-aniki, you really don't look so good' ___

"I agree"

Manjoume blinked at Judai's form came into view. He sat upright, lamenting the loss of the cool air on his face, and noted that his boyfriend had his hands hidden behind his back.

"Close your eyes and open your hand"

He glanced at Judai sceptically. "Really?"

Judai batted his eyes "Come on"

"You're lucky I indulge you"

Sighing deeply, Manjoume closed his eyes and held out his right hand, feeling something cool and flat slide into it. It was a card, that much was obvious but-

"Open them"

"Emergency Provisions?"

Judai laughed as he produced a chocolate bar from the other hand behind his back. 

"You look exhausted, you need a sugar hit."

Manjoume looked at the card again and rolled his eyes. 

"Drop out, that's lame even for you"

Judai laughed, shrugging his shoulders in surrender. "I try. Plus" Judai shoved Manjoume playfully "you're so skinny! This will help"

Manjoume felt the atmosphere change, a sudden dread wash over him like a bucket of ice water had been dumped on his head. Judai didn't mean it like that, he...couldn't mean it like that. Judai just always spoke without thinking, that was all, the absolute idiot. 

Manjoume took a deep breath. He was fine. This shouldn't bother him. He should not be at that place where it bothered him. It used to bother him, back when he had been weaker but he was stronger now and he was over this STUPID THING that he had had. He had control over himself, he was not letting himself reach that point again. 

The ceiling blurred. 

He needed out of that room. 

Judai cocked his head and looked at him through questioning eyes 

"You okay?"

"God drop out, yes. Just, I need some air"

He got up quickly and pushed past the brunette, cursing himself when he caught a glimpse of the hurt look in Judai's eyes. Great. So much for keeping this on the down low. 

Manjoume reached the door and pushed it open as he stepped outside, the card falling uncaringly from his hands. Heat invaded his senses as he cursed himself for forgetting. All he wanted was some damn fresh air. 

A hand touched his shoulder. 

"Hey! What's wrong?"

Manjoume felt pinpricks behind his eyes. No. He would not be that WEAK as to cry over something this small. He shrugged Judai off him.

"Nothing. Drop it"

Judai's eyes softened, furrowing in concern as his hand lay suspended in the air in front of him. Manjoume glanced at him out of the corner of his eyes. Judai twitched his fingers, and seemed to be torn between wanting to comfort him and wanting to give him his space. 

"Hey"

Manjoume pressed the heels of his palm into his eyes. Shit. This was spiralling way out of his control and he could see the train wreck happening before him. He was not like this anymore. What was wrong with him?

"Did you...did you want to talk or?"

"No, I don't want to talk about it. I just want you to leave me alone, okay?"

Judai visibly stiffened. "I can help"

"I don't need your help"

"If you have a problem, maybe I can-"

Fuck it. 

"The PROBLEM is that I can't look at myself in the fucking mirror anymore"

Judai's eyes widened in surprise. 

"Wait, what are you-"

"You have no fucking idea, Judai. I was OVER this. And now-fuck, I can't even go outside without worrying about what people are thinking. I know I've put on weight, okay? I'll just lose it and that'll be the end of it. I'm not like that anymore, I don't CARE what people think"

He watched as his boyfriend processed the information. Judai's eyes were huge, and he could feel the tension rolling off him in waves. 

"I don't think that you're fat"

Manjoume scoffed. "Yeah, thanks"

"But I don't and even if you were, that doesn't make you less of a person"

Manjoume took a deep breath. 

"I know it doesn't, obviously. My brain, it just-"

He stopped mid sentence as Judai pulled him toward him, his arms wrapping around his body protectively. He felt Judai's hand gently clutch the back of his neck. 

"Hey, I love you"

Manjoume rolled his eyes, before realising that Judai couldn't see. 

"I know that"

"Let me talk for a sec, okay?"

He nodded. 

"I love everything about you. And hey, maybe that's not enough and that's fine. I know I can't fix what you think needs to be fixed or make you feel better all the time. But I can help, if you need me to. And then we can work on it, slowly." He felt Judai tense as his voice dropped to a whisper.

"Don't do this by yourself. It never works"

Manjoume closed his eyes. He knew what his boyfriend meant, knew that the shadows would never truly go away from what had occurred in the Dark World, for both of them. He knew Judai was trying. 

He didn't like this, this was not who he was. He was Manjoume Thunder. Maybe he could...just this once...

"Yeah, okay"

Judai let him go, giving him a gentle kiss and trailing his hands down to take hold of Manjoume's own. 

"Whatever you need, we'll do it together"

Manjoume rolled his eyes. Of course.

"You're being cheesy"

Judai smiled that brilliant smile and squeezed his hands. "Only for you"

Letting out a disgusted huff, Manjoume let go of Judai's hands. "That is even worse"

He turned and raised an eyebrow as his eyes fell on a small object lying forgotten on the floor. Smirking to himself, Manjoume walked toward it before bending down and picked the Emergency Provisions card off the floor. 

"And because you pushed, I'm keeping this"

"What? No! That's in my deck! I need that!"

"Too bad, drop out. Last I checked, you gave it to me"

"But I need it!"

Manjoume twisted the card around in his fingers.

"Should have thought of that before you gave it to me"

"In that case..."

Judai spun around, running inside before returning to the outside heat with the chocolate bar.

"You don't have to if you really can't but I know you're hungry and..." Judai's voice trailed off. "Half?"

Manjoume looked at the chocolate and then at his boyfriend. Half wasn't the whole that he knew he should eat but-he took a breath. 

"Yeah, half"

It was a start.


End file.
